Why My Junior Year Has Been the Hardest One in My College Career So Far

At the start of college, I didn’t know what I was getting into when I became a student at the University of Hawaii at Manoa. For one thing, the overwhelmingly amount of people was something to get used to because high school was NOTHING compared to this! I already struggled with Calculus during my first semester and it was also the first time I was separated from my high school friends. Once I got those things out of the way, I thought everything would be fine. Little did I know, I was in for a big surprise by the time junior year came around!

For one thing, my friends from high school had just graduated and would now be attending my school. That was nice and scary at the same time because I would be comparing how they handle their first semester of college to how I handled my first semester. Since I am no longer an underclassman, but I’m an upperclassman now, I felt like I had this weight on my shoulders saying that I had to grow up, gain more sense of responsibility, and set a good example for the underclassmen. Because of my fear of people, I was in over my head when I decided to attend UH because it is filled with THOUSANDS of people, which is a lot. For some reason, it only started to bother me this semester how afraid I was and worried about what they would think of me, and how I would fit in with them. It’s like all of my fears pilled up into this semester just to haunt me and put me down. The worse part is, I let that fear get to me at times, and I become more reserved and insecure whenever I feel like people don’t like me, yet alone don’t even know I exist.

The biggest change for this semester, however, would most definitely have to be when I changed by major from Psychology to Communication. It felt so sudden because I thought I had it all figured out. I was going be a one-on-one therapist, who plays guitar and sings songs for her patients here and there, then that would be it. But once my passion for Disney grew stronger, I knew Psychology wasn’t right for me, that and there was NO WAY I was attending graduate school. As I was scrolling through all the possible jobs I could do at Disney, I saw that there were a lot of jobs that showed interest in Communication majors. At first, I was going to double major in Communication and Psychology because it would “look more professional.” But after realizing I didn’t need the Psych major and wasn’t planning on using it in the future, I decided to switch to Communication with a minor in Psychology, just so that my Psychology credits wouldn’t go to waste.

Along the way, like a month into the Fall semester, I realized that I needed to do something to help expand my horizons and conquer my fear of people. So I’ve been trying to speak more in class, ask questions, and talk to my classmates more. I even joined a new club, the Public Relations Student Society of America, so I would be given more opportunities to make friends and connect with my new major. This was a big change for me because during that time, I decided that I was not going to compare myself to others and worry about what they think of me anymore. It was time to take life into my own hands and become the person that I want to be. Before, I had a habit of comparing myself to my friend and trying so hard to be like her, but this semester, I decided that I wasn’t going to do that anymore. I didn’t want to turn myself into something that I’m not, I’d be miserable if I did that! I am happy with who I am and wouldn’t change it for the world!

So, in conclusion, junior year so far has challenged me and changed me for the better. I encourage you all to step out of your comfort zone, take risks, and be yourself because there is only one you!

See ya real soon!

Lana

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